If you’ve met me before, you’d notice I use a walker, and understanding my speech has a bit of a learning curve to it. I have had something like cerebral palsy since my near-drowning accident at 18 months old. Ever since I can remember people have told me that I would be healed physically. I certainly knew God could, I just didn’t know if he would. I asked the Lord many times to heal me, and many people have asked on my behalf. One such time, I was with friends at a bible study and they wanted to ask for my healing again. They gathered around me to pray as had happened many times before
To my surprise, my body felt all tingly and I just had to stand up. My legs were strengthening, my knees were straightening and I was standing tall under my own weight. My childhood hope was reignited and I joined my friends in collectively flipping out. Then as quickly as it came, it went. I sat back down in tears. It initially seemed to be an uncharacteristically cruel trick for God to play on me. Later I came to realize he was rewarding my confidence in his power. It’s kinda like he said, “Hey, you’re right, I can heal you! But I want you like this.”
“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.’” – 2 Corinthians 12:8-9
I didn’t realize I had a huge amount of hope placed on being healed. Boy did it hurt when it was dashed. God’s answer to Paul is key, “My grace is sufficient for you”, whether or not you have a thorn in your flesh. Turns out, you don’t need an able body to revel in God’s grace. We all need to intentionally place our hope in the sovereignty and grace of the Lord. There’s never any disappointment there… ever!