It was one of those moments when I felt like everything was coming together just as I planned it. The chicken was marinated and grilled, the salad had the perfect homemade dressing, the sweet potatoes that I scrubbed, cut, and coated were sizzling in the oven, and I was reading a book with my kiddo at the end of a long, beautiful day. That’s when I smelled the smoke. I flew to the oven and muttered something under my breath in a… frustrated tone. And then? My husband had the audacity to ask me what temperature I cooked them at and I blew up at him. The feeling of failure sunk deeper and the self-doubt felt thicker than the smoke in my house. At that moment, I didn’t think about all the wonderful moments of the day and the “successes.” All I could think about was how angry I was at myself for ruining something I had worked so hard at. I felt that surely, eventually, someone was going to figure out that I was a fraud. That I’m not a great mom, wife, homemaker, practitioner… because, at my core, I so quickly believe that I’m not. I don’t pretend to know what might plague your thoughts, but for many women, myself included, self-doubt and feelings of failure come in an instant. But then we read the Bible and see this: “The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord” Psalm 45:11. Enthralled? How can this be true when all I see in my moments of failure is an ugly self-portrait? Sometimes truth is a wonderful and difficult pill to swallow. But the TRUTH is that the KING is enthralled by you. He’s enchanted by YOU. The God of the Universe thinks you’re beautiful. Notice that it doesn’t say He is enthralled by your beauty because you have the perfect hair, made the perfect dinner, have the most successful career, etc.. He’s enthralled by your beauty simply because He made you and you’re HIS. PERIOD. And out of response to His great love for us, we honor Him. So take a breath, open the windows, whisper Psalm 45:11, and let God’s word gently fill your soul with love.
Alisha Keating