At 1 am I was awakened by a loud thud. I ran into my boy’s bedroom to find my son on the ground, ten feet from his bunk bed. The next few minutes were terrifying as I tried to figure out the extent of his injuries while his brother called 911. After arriving at the hospital, we discovered that he had experienced multiple forms of head trauma. The doctors determined that he needed to be admitted to the ICU at Children’s Hospital. The next 48 hours were crucial. At 5 am, as I was following the ambulance to Rady’s, I had my first opportunity to call my husband who was in the middle of the ocean on an Aircraft Carrier. Reality set in. Neither of us had one bit of control.
Thankfully, forty-eight hours later my son was discharged and allowed to return to the normal life of a JH student. I learned that for a child, head trauma heals quickly and rarely causes permanent damage if they survive the first two days. My head wanted to believe this but my mother’s heart was in agony and desperately wanted to control everything he did. In processing this event, I had multiple conversations with God about the issue of control. I had worked hard to let go of control in so many areas but recognized that I still somehow thought I could maintain control of my kids. I developed a version of “nighttime PTSD”; always being on the alert for the worst-case scenario. This made for sleepless nights and exhausting days! A few years later, Deja Vu! While not as traumatic, another child ended up in the ER after diving off his bunk bed. Fortunately, the results were not as severe. Needless to say, we will never own bunk beds again! With this second accident, I revisited the idea that I could somehow control my kid’s lives. Both times I had been asleep less than 20 feet away and both times my kids were in a safe environment. God graciously allowed us to go through these trials yet protected our children from permanent harm. I soon saw this as an opportunity to develop my trust and expand my devotion to prayer.
This week we are studying Psalm 127 which opens with, “Unless the Lord…” Verse 2 says, “In vain you rise early and stay up late,” Oh, how many times I have laid awake in worry! While I wouldn’t want to go through these experiences again, I am grateful that they brought me to a point of recognizing, “unless the Lord”. As parents, we are to obey God’s directives to raise our children in his ways, but if we believe that God is sovereign then we have to let go of control and trust his provision.
Physical safety is at the forefront of every parent’s mind, but so is their children’s emotional and spiritual welfare. We can guide and pray, but we can’t control their decisions. EFCC has a ministry called God’s Waiting Room. This is a group of moms who come together to study God’s Word and pray for their children who have decided, for the time, to not follow Jesus. If you are hurting and longing to give control of your kids over to the Lord, please contact the Care & Counseling Department for more information about God’s Waiting Room.
If you are a parent, or anyone struggling with control, ask God to show you Scripture that talks about his sovereignty. If we genuinely believe God is good, we can honestly say, “unless the Lord.”
Lynette Fuson
Director of Care & Counseling