Years ago, my marriage ended and I found myself raising my son as a single parent. The pain was intense, and I started looking for men to date to validate my divorce. I somehow thought if I remarried then people would assume my ex-husband was the issue, not me. I thought by remarrying my world would be all good again.
One lonely day I recall pouring out my heart to the Lord and begging him to take away my pain. I was sure another relationship would heal my wounds. It was at that moment that I clearly heard God say, “Vicki, I don’t promise anyone tomorrow. I want you to live for today and experience all I have in store for you.” I realized right then my job was not to look for another mate but to look fully into the eyes of my Lord and whatever he had for me each new day.
One Sunday morning I heard Dr. Richard Strauss preach at the small church I was attending. His words gripped my soul, so when I discovered he was the pastor at a large church in Escondido I thought, “Perfect! I can go and hide out there.” After attending Emmanuel Faith for two years, I decided to become a member. It just felt like the right thing to do. Following the membership class, a woman named Francie stood at the door and asked the people leaving where they hoped to serve. I responded with, “I’m a divorced woman.”
Francie said back to me, “So?”
I thought she must have not heard me so I repeated my statement. Yet again, her response was the same followed by “do you love Jesus and desire to serve him?” I was speechless. The love and acceptance I had been searching for overwhelmed me; finally, I had found a home.
I started out serving in the four-year-olds classroom because they wouldn’t ask where my son’s daddy was. While singleness was not my preference, and it was often lonely and frustrating, I slowly became accustomed to this new reality. Since then I have been invited to serve in multiple areas of ministry including College, Women’s, Counseling, and Missions. Each opportunity has brought me closer to my Lord.
Singleness is not what I had hoped for years ago, nor is it what I prefer today, but it is where the Lord has me. It has in many ways brought me to a place that Paul shares about in 1 Corinthians 7:35, “to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” In my aloneness, I have turned to the Lord over and over again for comfort, encouragement, and grace. He has brought me so much joy and it is out of my woundedness he has healed me and allowed me to go on to help others. Regardless of my circumstances, I would not choose anything over full devotion to my Lord.
Vicki Stone
College and Counseling Ministries
EFCC Member