It lingers. It is irrepressible. Unforgettable. It is relentless. Living with chronic pain or illness is a different form of trial. This is no “dark night of the soul,” nor a trial. Those end, and most anything can be endured if you know it’s temporary. When your enemy is unconquerable, it changes your perspective. Winning is no longer the goal; it never was an option.
If you have this burden, please hear my message. If not, you should hear it too. Hope? Its radiance dulled. Prayers go unanswered. Every day is a struggle. “Why is this happening to me?” Or maybe, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Psalm 22:1)
There is such darkness in my words, but they need to be said, and truthfully. What I write is woefully insufficient to express the level of pain that some endure. So, what can be done then? When hope feels lost, and when you feel abandoned, what is there to do? To some, these are not general or rhetorical questions. They are part of life, asked and answered, over and over, again and again.
I cannot provide a perfect answer, but I can tell you what I believe, which helps me, and I hope it will help you, too. Remember! Jesus Himself was “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3). He understands physical suffering. He walks beside you with compassion, not condemnation, and He invites you to bring every frustration, fear, and tear to Him. Do this! Be honest, be open, pray, and lament. We are closer to Him because of the pain. We are given the gifts of perseverance, compassion for others who suffer, humility, and a deeper relationship with God. These are not easy gifts, but they are precious ones.
God does not delight in our suffering. Rather, He promises that His grace will meet us in it. When our strength is exhausted, His is not. When pain limits what we can do, it cannot limit what God can accomplish in us. Our worth is not measured by our productivity, our health, or our independence, but by the unchanging love of Christ.
I have taken my pain, my diagnosis, and I wield it as a weapon. The Devil thought he was tormenting me, and he surely was, but no more. Now I fight against him with what he thought would kill me. I use it now, enabled by the empathy it provides, honed with hope for His kingdom, and forged with compassion.
Through me—within me—His grace—His love. It lingers. It is irrepressible. Unforgettable. It is relentless.
Jeff Worsham
Strength for the Journey Leader