“What about him?”
In John 21:21, Peter (always one who struggles to keep his foot out of his mouth) asks Jesus this little question that might seem innocent … “Lord, what about him?” However, I think this question gets at the heart of our need to compare.
You see, this question takes place immediately after one of the most intimate moments that Peter had with Jesus after the resurrection. Jesus had just refocused Peter onto the dual mission of loving Jesus and caring for people. This is what Peter was created to do … to put his focus on God and on others, but instead, he turns his eyes back on himself and asks Jesus how he compares to John.
Sadly, this is the way of all humanity. We compare ourselves to others. We want everything to be fair. And there is a certain sense in which we expect everyone to be like us … or some of us idolize others and say, “I should be like …” “What about him?”
Oddly, this comparison is especially true in the Christian world. “If you were really a Christian, you would think like me, dress like me, vote like me, behave like me, and on and on.” However, this idea comes from a misunderstanding of what it means to be made new in Christ (see Gal. 2:20 and 2 Cor. 5:17). Christ in you does not make you the same as others, so you shouldn’t expect others to be the same as you. In the BBC radio talks that eventually became Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis explains that while it is true that we have lost “what we now call ourselves” ... “it isn't true that we shall lose our personal differences by letting Christ take us over.” He explains this with an analogy:
If a person didn't know about salt, wouldn't he think that anything with such a strong taste would kill the taste of all the other things in any dish you put it into? We know, as a matter of fact, it brings out the real taste. Well, it's rather like that with Christ. When you've completely given up yourself to His personality you will then, for the first time in your life, be developing into a real person.
What he is saying is that you will become more you! The real you! Not more like everyone else. And because of that, you don’t need to compare. Instead, you can ... as the real “you” God created you to be and the real “you” Jesus freed you to become … you can live free from comparison and fulfill your true calling.
If you want to hear the fuller context of this in C.S. Lewis’ own words and voice, CLICK HERE for a recording of that original radio address.
By Josh Rose
Pastor of Adult Ministries
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Joy-Full Surrender
If you have studied birth order, then you likely have an opinion about first-borns. My family, of now seven, has five first-borns. Some call us “control freaks”; we prefer “high achievers”. Nine months into marriage I found out that my husband and I were moving to Bakersfield, and that we were expecting twins. That was not the plan! Neither was leaving pastoral ministry in order to enter the Navy, or moving across country, or losing my dad to cancer before he ever got to know all of his grandchildren. My guess is that most of us have experienced unexpected turns throughout life; ones that throw us for a loop, ones that we just can’t control.
In Judges 6, God told Gideon that he would give him victory in rescuing the Israelites from captivity. Gideon had his doubts, so he asked God to show him favor by keeping a piece of fleece dry on wet ground and then the opposite the following night. God did as Gideon requested and that was enough to give Gideon faith that God would provide the victory.
In my early adult years, God taught me a powerful lesson about relinquishing my perceived control. I knew the story of Gideon well, so in an attempt to win God’s favor, I “set out a fleece.” But my dry fleece stayed dry on dry ground. How could this be? I was obedient; doesn’t that mean that God would find favor with me? What I started to realize was that my “setting out a fleece” was just a desperate way of seeking control, and in this, God said no. Following God’s answer of “no”, I struggled with whether or not obedience was really worth it. My malformed perception of God’s character was being challenged. I was equating getting what I want, ie. “control” with God’s love. What I didn’t realize at the time, was that God’s momentary “no” was the most loving and healing “yes” that a benevolent Father could offer. Although heartbroken, there was something in the depths of my soul that longed for God’s will. It wasn’t immediate, but eventually my need for control turned to surrender, and surrender turned to joy.
Mark 8:35 says, “For any one of you who wants to be rescued will lose your life, but any one of you who loses your life for My sake and for the sake of this good news will be liberated.” No matter your personality; giving up control, letting go, and relinquishing your will is not easy. But surrendering our will to our God, who loves us more than we could ever love ourselves, brings freedom, and freedom brings joy!
Abba, thank you for loving me enough to do what is best, even if it requires sadness or suffering. I surrender my life to you with open hands; ready for you to fill them with your liberating joy. In Jesus Name, Amen.
By Lynette Fuson
Director of Women’s Ministries
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Surrendered to Grace
Since learning to read and write, I have been a lover of lists and a maker of plans. Some of my most treasured childhood gifts included journals, paper, pens and pencils. Pen and paper gave me a place to gather my thoughts and to dream about the future. My lists and plans also gave me a sense of control, a sense that I could manage outcomes. Have you ever felt that way?
When I began to follow Jesus in my teens, I took my list making propensities with me. This worked well in a Christian subculture that often celebrated holding on to lists of behaviors that defined the life of a “good Christian.” Of course, from the Scriptures I knew that salvation comes by grace through faith, that it is a gift from God so that none of us could boast of having earned it (Ephesians 2:8-9). While I knew the truth of God’s grace, and was confident in my salvation, there was still a default mode that pushed me back to the lists of rules. Longing for the assurance that God would be pleased, I learned the habits of trying harder (Col. 2:8). Rather than resting in the reality of my Father’s love, I often sought rest in my own efforts to earn it.
In his book, The Prodigal God, Tim Keller says, “Your computer operates automatically in a default mode unless you deliberately tell it to do something else. So Luther says that even after you are converted by the gospel your heart will go back to operating on other principles unless you deliberately, repeatedly set it to gospel-mode.” We habitually and instinctively look to other things besides God and his grace as our justification, hope, significance, and security. We believe the gospel at one level, but at deeper levels we do not.
This conflicted way of seeing things reminds me of Peter, who in one breath declared that Jesus was the Christ, and in another rebuked him for saying that he would suffer, be rejected by the religious leaders and killed (Mark 8). He somehow believed that Jesus was both the Christ and someone in need of Peter’s plan.
Father, help us to live in daily awareness of your faithful love. We want to be people who readily surrender to your work of grace in us, pursuing what is good and right, not in an effort to earn your favor, but as the continual overflow of grateful hearts.
The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven’t come to the end of themselves. We're still trying to give orders, and interfering with God’s work within us.
A. W. Tozer
By Nicole Jiles
Director of Children’s Ministry
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Words
If the pen is mightier than the sword, is the press more powerful than an army? If a picture is worth a thousand words, are humans all artists at work and our mouths the brushes used to create a work of art; or, sadly, maybe too often graffiti?
Words.
“(The tongue) is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?” (James 3:8-11)
James blames the tongue. Today’s advocates would argue with him; “tongue’s don’t kill people, people kill people!” or something like that. But James is ahead of that thinking, which is why, in verse 11, he asks the question about water from a spring. What comes out of one’s mouth indicates what's going on inside that person.
Look at the powerful interaction between Jesus and Peter in Mark 8, Jesus had just explained to his followers that he must be antagonized by the religious leaders, killed and rise on the third day, then in verse 33-34:
“... and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. ‘Get behind me, Satan!’ he said. ‘You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.’”
It doesn’t say Peter cursed or was rude with his words, but what was coming out of him was not from God’s perspective, but from his own. Peter tries to get Jesus to do it his way (the right way he is sure) and meets the most powerful rebuke Jesus is recorded giving; calling Peter the devil.
Don’t let mere human concerns; a selfish perspective, flow out of us to manipulate others. Let’s not graffiti each other to get what we feel is right. Instead, listen to Jesus who says in the next verses, may your words show that you deny yourself, grab the soap to wash your mouth out with, and follow me. Now that's a new and powerful picture.
By John Riley
Junior High Pastor
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A Different Kind of Power
Can you believe that this is Jesus’ invitation to his followers? This is the words of the man who is at the center of the world’s largest religion! One thing is for certain: Jesus didn’t gain his followers by selling dreams or giving people false hope. Jesus was clear about what he was asking people and he did not gain followers because of some sort of power of persuasion. This might be the most unpersuasive call to discipleship that I could imagine. Come, deny yourself, take up your instrument of brutal death and, oh, by the way, you also just need to lose your life. That is not the recipe for a successful recruitment campaign. Clearly, the reason that Jesus has any followers at all is because Jesus embodied a different kind of influence … a different kind of power.
Why didn’t the first disciples (and all of the billions since for that matter) just respond, “No way! I’m not about to do any of those things for you”? I think it is because Jesus was tapping into a deeper motivation that is embedded in all humans. It is a motivation and a power that is stronger than the desire for self-preservation and survival. Interestingly, all of Jesus’ original disciples (with the exception of Mary and a few other brave women) seemed to abandon Jesus immediately after his death. They were too afraid to be there at the cross and most of them didn’t even come near the tomb. They choose self-preservation and survival over following Jesus (and we would have probably chosen the same thing if we were in their shoes). But something happened after the resurrection. Jesus’ followers took on a new source of motivation, a new source of power. This power led them to become people who would sacrifice for others and eventually sacrifice their lives for the sake of Jesus. What was this power? It was the power of love. When they realized that Jesus’ death on the cross was a beautiful act of self-sacrifice that was done for them born out of his love for the world, they found the motivation to say “yes” to Jesus’ call. They said “yes” to denial, “yes” to carrying their cross and eventually even “yes” to death, all as a response to Jesus’ love. The power of love is stronger than the love of power and of self-preservation and of survival. The power of love is the great power that Jesus relies upon for recruiting his followers.
Can we be people who respond to Jesus’ love in the same ways? Let’s try today to say “yes” to Jesus’ call to choose the power of love over the love of power.
By Josh Rose
Pastor of Adult Ministries
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Bootstraps
Have you ever heard the saying, “He pulled himself up by his bootstraps?” This is a reference to someone who did it himself. He was the captain of his own fate. He worked hard and accomplished goals. It is the story of the infamous Frank Sinatra song, “I Did It My Way.” At first blush, it might seem like an admirable thing to do, a person you may want to be: one who climbed to the top of the heap and made a success of himself. But it reminds me of the Bob Mumford story about the man who went to heaven and proclaimed, “I’m a Self-Made Man.” And Jesus said in return, “You look it.”
In this poignant passage in Mark we are invited to take a closer look at the choices we have made in life. Do we live by “self-denial” or by “denial of self”? To a casual observer, they may seem like the same thing, just worded differently. But they are the opposite. When we live in self-denial, the power comes from within ourselves. We are in control and totally dependent on our will-power and inner (self-generated) strength. In any bookstore (remember them?) we could go to the “Self Help” section and find rows and rows of books and CDs telling us how we can improve our lives … by ourselves, on our own. However, denial of self is quite different. We tend to embrace and protect our “self” at all costs. We will nurture it, coddle it and do anything but deny its needs. On one hand, this can be good. We want our souls, our “self” to be full and satisfied. And things seem to go well until the Holy Spirit begins to direct our path toward denial, which may, in the short-term, bring discomfort or a feeling of being left out or denied something we “felt” we needed or deserved. Then the battle begins.
Denial of our self means we do not get our way. We are called to submit to the will of another. God’s will. Ultimately, following His will can bring us to total fulfilment and growth. Our part is simple, yet sometimes painful: obedience. Our will wants what it wants, and it wants it now. In denial of self, we are asked by the Holy Spirit to let go of certain dreams and plans in order to follow a higher calling, a godly calling.
The next time you are tempted to do it yourself in your own strength, pause and ask the Lord how you should proceed. He will guide you in His strength and power, and you won't have to use your own “bootstraps.”
By Chip Whitman
Pastor of Care & Counseling
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Dashed Expectations
My sister was the quintessential business woman — successful, personable, able to adapt to changes thrown her way. Life handed her challenge after challenge and she constantly rose to meet each one. “You cannot conquer my independent spirit,” she’d seem to say as she pushed aside such horrible events like being held up at gunpoint in Texas, and working downtown San Francisco during the massive earthquake where glass rained down around her.
She was — and still is — an overcomer. But the biggest course change for her life was her son, Harley. At just 2 years old he was diagnosed with Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome, a severe seizure disorder, which meant he was never expected to make it to his teen years, much less adulthood.
I reflected on Colleen and Harley as I read Jesus’ statement to Peter in Mark 8:33: “You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s.” Just a couple verses earlier, Peter had declared that Jesus was the Messiah. Perhaps he had started fantasizing about being at the right hand of the most powerful person on earth. But then Jesus told him about the reality that he would suffer and be killed and rise from the dead three days later. Talk about dashed expectations.
My sister went from an independent business woman to a mom of a child with severe special needs. But as she faced this new reality, she began to see it through God’s point of view.
No one would have chosen this hard life for Colleen or Harley, who has survived comas, surgeries, mind-numbing medications, and horrific seizures that bring him crashing to the floor, causing bruising and missing teeth. But with most every hospital stay, Colleen has been able to share the love and light of Christ. Even when life looked the bleakest for her, she has brought comfort, compassion and joy to the families and nurses she has met along this unexpected journey.
Now, while she is still successful at her events business (when we’re not in a pandemic, of course), her life revolves more around taking care of her 26-year-old son, who will never live an independent life.
Hers is a life of being “palms up.” Instead of clinging to what was or what could have been, she instead releases her hands to God and let’s His love flow through. Each year holds a new concern and possible life-threatening crisis.
But if you’ve seen Harley, you know that when he smiles — albeit a mostly toothless grin — his smile lights up a room.
By Cyndie Claypool de Neve
Senior Creative Director
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“Wrestling in Weakness”
When I was younger I hated going to bed. I would pretend to fall asleep, only to sneak a book, or a game, or anything else under my covers with a flashlight and rebel against the night. With tremendous passion, energy, and excitement, I would read whole books, play entire video games, and watch endless hours of shows as a great testament to what little boys are capable of when they really set their mind to it. I would do this until the early hours of the morning, when I was finally too exhausted to resist falling asleep.
And yet, I couldn’t be bothered to pray with anything resembling my gargantuan efforts to fight against the night when fun was involved. Why is that? The simple answer is that I was immature. Obviously, to a boy’s mind there’s so much more to enjoy in books, games, shows, than in prayer! The question is: how many of us are still having difficulty with making or taking time to pray? Or do we even see the importance of it?
What Jesus shows us in this scene is something that we knew from the Old Testament: whenever we pray, we enter into a wrestling match with the Almighty (Genesis 32:22-32). Thousands of years before Jesus, Jacob wrestled with God, and in doing so was renamed Israel meaning: he who wrestles with God.
But if prayer is a wrestling match between us and God, as both Jacob and Jesus show us, it’s no wonder, then, that we often avoid it at all costs! In our human strength, it is far easier to fall asleep to the moment, to ourselves, to God — rather than to wrestle with Him in prayer.
We think that we want to encounter God, but as soon as our flesh tastes the immediate difficulty of it — we tap out. Now our response to this is not to demean our weakness. Jesus knows how weak we are because apart from Him, everything is much harder (John 15:5). He is our friend and our help in times of need. We see in the garden that while we were all-too-willing to fall asleep to the real need, he stayed up through the night to petition His Father.
You may be overwhelmed by your inability to pray. But that’s not the point. Rather, our goal is to entrust ourselves to Jesus, our great high priest, who is able to make our sorry excuses for prayer and turn it into something sweet for the Lord (Hebrews 4:14).
By Ryan Lunde
Pastor of Young Adults
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"You're Muted"
In almost every virtual meeting I’ve been in lately, someone is told “you’re muted.” Then it was my turn. There I was, talking away in a virtual meeting until I saw Pastor Scott Smith cup his hand to his ear. Whoops! My mic was still muted, and no one had heard anything I was saying.
Do you ever feel like this while praying? You’re pouring out your heart to God, but it’s as if your mic is off and he can’t hear you. I remember feeling like that as a young mom struggling with my child’s school frustrations. I’d share my prayer requests at Bible study, and was often given suggestions and recommendations. I knew they heard me, but did God? I craved the great exchange offered in Philippians 4:6-7, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” I not only wanted to be heard, but to experience that peace.
Soon, God answered the cry of my heart. Most mornings, I’d walk my first-grade son to school and stay after the bell rang to chat with the crossing guard. We’d stand at the edge of campus and pray for our kids, the school staff and safety at that busy crosswalk. Then one day she suggested we start a Moms in Prayer group. Boy, I didn’t know what I was missing!
We invited other moms and my older sister led us through the hour of prayer. (Yes, we actually pray the entire hour!) Each week we start by praising God for a characteristic or attribute, then we silently confess before God, followed by a time of thanksgiving and praying a scripture for our kids. We do all that before we ever pray a single request. Remembering who God is and what he has done has been huge in preparing my heart to pray the big requests, with my prayer partners coming alongside and praying for things I hadn’t even thought of. At last, I was experiencing that peace that God promises when I hand him my worries.
My kids are now young adults, and I continue to pray for them in a Moms in Prayer group at EFCC. The amazing answers to prayer could fill a book or two (and have!). Now I rarely feel like my prayers are muted before God. But when that does happen, I know I have prayer partners that will come alongside me and pray with me for those big, seemingly immovable mountains. Then we watch and see God do “more than all we ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20).
(To find out more about Moms in Prayer, email Cyndie at cdeneve@efcc.org or visit www.momsinprayer.org.)
By Cyndie de Neve
Senior Creative Director
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People Who Need People …
Matthew 26:36-38
While Jesus would not agree with the song’s theology, he would agree with its proclamation. Long before anyone sat down and put pen to paper, he modeled the importance of being surrounded by people, of not going through tough things alone, and of admitting a very human need for others.
What strikes me from Matthew 26:36-38 is how Jesus brought people along when he went to pray. Why would he do that? Because he was human, that’s why! We should not gloss over this truth. Jesus, the most human human ever, and yet also the perfect Son of God, needed people in his life as he faced his toughest challenge.
For some, this observation — that Jesus needed people — is an encouragement; for others, a challenge; and for still others, a pipe dream. Over the years I have encountered believers who understand and embrace their deep, God-given, need for a few close friends with whom they can share life’s experiences — both the joyful and the tearful. Their lives are rich and full and they receive God’s comfort and strength in full measure when they need it most (assuming their believing friends step up and respond in Christ-like ways!).
Unfortunately, I have also encountered believers who don’t think they need people, and have chosen to make the lonely decision to “go it alone.” Some think they are strong enough to make it by themselves, while others aren’t willing to risk opening up. Unfortunately, and in ways they’ll never understand or experience, they are choosing to reject some (but not all) of the ministry God wants to pour into their lives (there are, of course, certain exceptions to this rule, but the great majority of us do not meet the qualifications needed to merit such an exemption!).
Being a follower of Jesus means we seek to live our lives the way Jesus would live them, if he were us. There is no doubt, if he were you, that he would surround himself with a handful of people with whom he could live life, and with whom he could be honest and share his heart.
Practice
Is it time to join a Life Group (www.efcc.org/life-groups)? What a great way to start inviting others into your journey! Or maybe you’re already in a group, or have surrounded yourself with people, and it’s time to start letting them know more of what’s going on? In any case, what’s next for you to live as a person who understands that we are all just “people who need people.”
By Scott Smith
Pastor of Discipleship Ministries
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