Freedom vs. Deference
"Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall." 1 Corinthians 8:13
Sometimes I forget that Paul was a real person who sacrificed a lot for the people he cared about. “I will never eat meat again…” was a statement that makes you think, wow, he must really, really love the people in his life. I think about all the things God has done for the people around me and myself, and I am really amazed at why God gives so much for people who sometimes turn away from him. Paul’s statement really models Christlikeness for me. It is not that he is willing to give up something he enjoys, it is that he genuinely values others' spiritual growth over his own freedoms.
Paul was willing to defer something for the sake of someone else. Sometimes I have to wrestle internally to defer what I want or my freedom. Of course, Paul saw Jesus as his Lord and Savior, he understood the call he was given and he lived to bring glory to God. Since his purpose guided his choices it was easy for him to possibly become a vegetarian for the good of others. So here is my question for us to ponder, what is the purpose God has given you? This is bigger than work, hobbies, relationships, or responsibilities- how has God uniquely wired you to live for his glory? Jesus tells us to live in such a way (Matt. 5:16) and we will see Paul echo those words in a few couple chapters (1 Cor. 10:31). So will we take the time to let God transform us (Romans 12:1-2) to live in a way that prioritizes his glory and purpose over our worldly desires or needs? The answers for these questions are vital. If we take time to try to explore the answers, then I think we actually find freedom in the purpose God has for us.
Paul found his purpose and he chose to defer his freedoms for the sake of others. If you know the purpose the Lord has given you, take a moment and thank God! Encourage a friend or two who might need some direction. If you don’t, take a moment and ask God to help you find it! The beauty of God’s love is how he constantly gives so we can continue to grow. Let him help you and if we can help, we are here for you!
Jeremy Johnson
Family Pastor
Idolatry vs. Worship
The psalmist writes, “Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your name give glory because of Your lovingkindness, because of Your truth. Why should the nations say, “Where, now, is their God?” But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases. Their idols are silver and gold, the work of man’s hands. They have mouths, but they cannot speak; they have eyes, but they cannot see; they have ears, but they cannot hear; they have noses, but they cannot smell; they have hands, but they cannot feel; they have feet, but they cannot walk; they cannot make a sound with their throat. Those who make them will become like them, everyone who trusts in them.” (Psalm 115:1-8)
We know from these verses that an idol “has no real existence.” (1 Corinthians 8:4) They are things we make up, things we create, and strangely, things we worship.
What, however, is an idol these days? I mean, we don’t have statues or poles or golden calves. But what we do have sometimes are mis-placed affections and a mis-guided trust in people or things other than our God.
In thinking through the probability and place of idols in our lives, the best definition I’ve ever read is the one provided by pastor and author Tim Keller. He writes that “An idol is anything you will sin to get or to keep.” That can be a job, a relationship, a reputation, financial security, or any number of things unique to you and your situation. The issue isn’t so much the “what” but the “where.” Where does your desire for this “thing” find its place in your heart in relation to the place God finds? If you value it above loving and living for Him, then you find yourself worshiping an idol (as difficult to admit as that might be).
While this week’s passage helps us figure out how to live in the gray, perhaps two other important things it does are 1) call us to take a step back to consider whether or not there are things in our lives which would qualify as an idol, and 2) remind us that “yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist.” (1 Corinthians 8:6)
By God’s grace, may we keep our heart and its affections fixed on Him today!
Scott Smith
Connection and Growth Pastor
Conscience vs. Reality or Crushed vs. Built-Up
I have the power to crush people with what I do and what I say, and so do you. It can happen with words or actions that are neither direct nor intentional. This calls for caution and is why Paul sets a high standard. Believers must be an example and be willing to sacrifice personal preference and freedom. The freedom gained by the knowledge of Christ can trip up spiritually weaker believers, so Paul writes, “And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died.” (1 Corinthians 8:11)
Destroyed? That is a strong language. This calls for focus and care. Let's look at a couple of principles in response:
+ A believer can be “defiled” or “destroyed” by their own conscience, even if they are wrong about a specific theological truth.
+ People’s pasts inevitably shape the way they respond to and live out the gospel. (However, not all possess this knowledge. But some, through former association with idols, eat food as really offered to an idol, and their conscience, being weak, is defiled. 1 Corinthians 8:7.)
+ We point people to truth and reality, but we meet them where they actually are.
Are you willing to meet people right where they are, even letting their ignorance and bondage affect what you say and do around them? Honestly, this is more of a secondary focus. A believer’s primary focus is on the positive, not the negative. “Work to build others up in the Lord” is primary. “Be careful not to tear someone down” is secondary. Being secondary means it may not be our usual area of focus, but neglecting it can cause great individual harm and can have devastating effects on a church.
When driving a car, looking down the road is primary, and stepping on the breaks when traffic stops is secondary. Secondary doesn’t mean not important, rather, it is what one does in response to the situation. So, are you willing to let a believer’s situation, weakness, past trauma, or mistakes limit your spiritual freedom to help them and not harm them? Pray for wisdom to have this kind of focus and care.
John Riley
Junior High Pastor
Knowledge vs. Love
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:13-14, NIV)
As a young believer in my college years, my greatest desire was to know the Lord, to understand his ways. My heart was overwhelmed by the grace of God and I wanted to live in a way that honored him. Not having grown up in the church, I began wrestling with what to do in situations where the Bible was not specific. In my thinking, I was still very much "like a child" wanting clear black and white answers to guide me in all of my lifestyle decisions. The gray made me uncomfortable. It brought doubts in my mind about whether or not certain activities were ones in which I ought to engage. The more I studied the Bible, the more confident I became about my positions on questionable matters.
Looking back on those years, I also saw a shift in my thinking. At first my thinking was driven by a desire to know how I ought to live, how my decisions in any area were pleasing to the Lord. Then subtly, there was a shift. I began to think that I knew how others ought to behave as well. This led to many uncomfortable conversations with my peers who had grown up in the church, and had heard the Bible taught all of their lives. How could it be that they landed in different places than I had when it came to certain questions about how we should live as devoted followers of Christ? My "knowledge" was, as Paul said, puffing me up. (9:2) I did not yet know as I ought to know.
I still remember the way the Holy Spirit used a story in a sermon by Dr. Strauss, our pastor in those days. He described a conversation he had engaged in with the person seated next to him on a long flight. There was strong disagreement about some biblical issue. As the flight went on, he was confident he was able to use his extensive knowledge of the Scriptures to prove the "rightness" of his conclusions. His goal had turned into proving that he was in the right, and his opponent in the wrong. Sadly, he discovered after the flight that while he had won the argument, he had lost the battle. He realized too late he had loved being right over loving his neighbor.
That story has come to my mind at various times over the years, especially as those "gray areas" present themselves in my life and in the lives of my brothers and sisters in Christ. I rejoice in knowing that I am not a slave to the law or to earning my right standing with God. I am so grateful for the liberty we have in Christ, yet I know the calling of God is to continually guard the posture of my heart. When a gray issue presents itself as I interact with others, my prayer is "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23-24, NIV)
Lord, for your Kingdom’s sake, may we be driven by the everlasting way of love over rights, of love over being "right".
Nicole Jiles
FaithKids Director
It Depends
How hard is it to just give a straight answer? That’s what many in the Corinthian church may have been thinking as they read through Paul’s letter. They had written him asking some questions that, at least in their minds, were pertinent to following Jesus wholeheartedly. Questions like, “If we are single, should we get married?” And, “Are we allowed to eat food that’s been sacrificed to idols?” I don’t know about you, but it doesn’t seem like those questions should be all that challenging to answer with a simple affirmative or a negative. And yet, Paul’s answer is anything but black and white - it’s gray, ambiguous, and a bit tough to pin down.
I’m not sure if you can relate, but it seems like we all have times in our life when we go to God for an answer, and he gives us wisdom to apply rather than a law to implement. Should we make the move? Which job should I take? How do I care about this person in my life who is driving me crazy? It’s questions like those that we ask God about and we often get the same answer Paul gave the Corinthians, “it depends.”
That presents a problem for many because the draw to religion is often a black and white world view that answers all our questions and eliminates ambiguity and mystery. We assume when we ask questions that have massive implications for the rest of our lives, God would give a clear, unambiguous answer. However, we see in 1 Corinthians 8 that God gives us principles more often than answers. He tells them to choose love over knowledge, to defer to others rather than exerting their rights, and to choose worship of the true God over idolatry. Those principles don’t explicitly answer the questions that were asked, but they do give them principles to apply as they seek to follow the Spirit.
Now, I want to be clear, there are a lot of things God is very clear about, but there were other questions the Corinthians had that they wished Paul would be more direct in answering. So this week, when you’re not quite sure how to respond, ask yourself the same question Paul encouraged Coinrhtian believers to ask, “What does it look like to love? What will allow me to worship the one true God most fully?” And trust that the Spirit at work within you will direct you and lead you toward flourishing.
Ryan Paulson
Lead Pastor
Freedom To Feel
Several years in the trenches as a teacher kept me so buried, that I couldn’t do much more than eat, sleep and spend time with family. It wasn’t until December of my twenty-fifth year the first pangs of loneliness hit me. They appeared in the form of an entirely new, uncomfortable thought: “What if I grow old alone?” This was deeply unpleasant to consider. It was also a symptom of a strong desire I hadn’t realized was growing in me until that moment.
A few disappointments later, I started to get disillusioned and upset. And who was I upset with? God, of course, although it took me some time to realize that. (It’s so much easier to blame God than ourselves, isn’t it?) I grew too discouraged and tired to trust God did want good for me, and that good could ever come in the form of marriage. So I began to resent him, to give up asking him to help me trust him.
Then the pandemic hit. My life was placed on hold, except for the fresh waves of intense loneliness that crashed in like a flood. But what I began to realize (after I stopped asking God to help me trust him and obsessing over possibilities) was God was not to blame for my pain and disappointment. This was always true; I just couldn’t see it until I stopped imagining my future and who I would spend it with. Instead, I realized I was the one placing expectations for what I wanted onto God, and I had believed this was the specific way in which God would show me his goodness. I felt I deserved to get married (at just the right moment I wanted it to happen), and was angry at God for not delivering.
I am learning once again to trust my Father. Is it bad that I still want to be married? Of course not! However, God is calling me to trust him, especially at those times when I feel least like doing so. How do I live in the tension of trusting that God will bring me good things, but not expecting specific good things? I’m still in the throes of figuring that one out, folks (God’s gonna have to help me!). But I’m also rediscovering, in my heart of hearts, that God wants to lavish good things on me. It grieves me to look back at the time I’ve wasted feeling sorry for myself since God just wanted to shower me with goodness I kept rejecting because it wasn’t the kind of good I wanted. But this is now a part of my story, and God is using all these lessons to draw me back into his presence.
Instead of getting stuck in regret and dwelling on all I’ve missed, I’m reminded of what Paul exhorts us to do in Philippians: “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (3:13-16). So let’s press on toward that prize, brothers, and sisters–no matter what our pasts or futures hold–and not grow weary; let us remember that our Lord is beside us when we are at our weakest!
Ashley Carr
Free to Remain
God uses unqualified people to reveal His heart. In Exodus 4, God used Moses, an unsure man with a speech impediment to champion His people out of slavery. In Joshua 2 he used a prostitute, Rahab, to rescue God’s chosen people as they traveled through dark cities to their Promised Land. In Luke 1, God used a virgin girl, Mary, to carry, give birth, and raise our Savior, Jesus. Like these, I don’t feel equipped and confident to share about singleness, but I’m on my own journey of discovering God’s goodness and graciousness in what can sometimes feel like a long, lonely, and tender journey.
I am 24 years old and single. I’ve dated, but the cards on the table just don’t seem to add up to the things I’ve been searching and hoping for. I have spent many recent days trying to figure out the problem. Why does God give gifts that I want to other people and not to me? What can I do in my own strength to achieve the things I desire, including not being single?
When I was asked to share about how I am “free to remain,” as 1 Corinthians 7:25-26 concludes that “it is good for a person to remain as he is,” I thought, “I didn’t realize that.” I am now learning right along with you.
A couple of weeks ago, in the middle of uncertainty, silence, and rejection in the area of dating, I woke up in the middle of the night with feelings of extreme sadness, emptiness, and longing. I felt so anxious that I literally did not know what to do. I remembered that I’d been, up until that point, praying for weeks for God to fix my situation, to change somebody else’s mind, to work out some sort of miracle so that my deep desires of finding belonging and family could be fulfilled. It wasn’t an “I-want-what-I-want-when-I-
I am…
Free to long, desire, and remain patient.
Free to put me out there, and remain of sound mind when prospects enter and leave my life.
Free to feel discouraged and remain hopeful that God’s plan is sweeter than I can imagine.
Free to pray for change, and remain confident that His ultimate plan is unchangeable.
Free to be confused and ask God for vision and clarity when working through heartbreak.
Free to cry, and let God’s fullness and peace wash over me; remaining in my places of emptiness and longing.
I find comfort in Sam McCabe’s lyrics from his song, Friend in the Fire.
God is with us on that long, lonely, and tender journey. He is willing and able to provide the daily and hourly love that we long for. All you need, dear one, is to remain.
Sarah Adams
Junior High Intern
Free to Serve
Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. (1 Corinthians 7:17)
When Paul was writing to the Corinthians, he had an expectation that the world was passing away (v. 26). He contended they should stay in their current state, whatever it was. There was persecution at that time and they expected the Lord to come back very quickly. Even if this situation wasn’t the case, how should we live in light of Jesus’ resurrection and return?
In 1 Corinthians 7:7, Paul refers to a gift. We assume there is a “gift of singleness.” Some people wear it well, others struggle against it. We are all born single and many of us spend more years of our lives single than married. Is there such a thing, then, as the gift of singleness, or is it just the circumstances in which we find ourselves?
If I am single, does that mean I never struggle with loneliness? Was Paul not lonely at times, shut up in prison, and separated from his friends? Does it mean I never struggle with sexual temptations or what to do with my passions? I think Paul would have said it did not. What single and married people alike have to face is finding a place of contentment where they are. If we look not at the difficulties, but the benefits of singleness, we begin to find an answer.
Paul points out that married people are somewhat conflicted (v. 32-34). If my thought is, “I want to serve the Lord, but I also have to look after my family,” I can’t stay focused on the Lord. It isn’t that serving a spouse isn’t in line with God’s will but it may slow us down. Is my spouse as devoted to the Lord as I am? If not, we can’t run ahead. Do I look to my spouse for spiritual guidance and support? Then I may not depend as much as I should on the Lord.
Being single may push us to the Lord like nothing else. Who understands our struggles and desires better than He? Who knows the future and His plans for our lives better than He? Who can love us more than He does? Whatever longings we want marriage to satisfy, a spouse may not satisfy them, but Jesus does. In addition, what we have is the freedom to serve, the impulse to pray, and the satisfaction of being close to someone who is completely trustworthy. When He calls us, we can go. When He sends us, we proceed with His authority and power. We can sacrifice ourselves in service without being concerned with leaving dependents behind.
Paul was saying, under persecution and with the Lord’s imminent return, it is better we remain single. Whether we are single or married, however, contentment in the Lord is what we seek.
Esther Morrow
Cartographer, SIL International
EFCC Member
Fully Devoted
Years ago, my marriage ended and I found myself raising my son as a single parent. The pain was intense, and I started looking for men to date to validate my divorce. I somehow thought if I remarried then people would assume my ex-husband was the issue, not me. I thought by remarrying my world would be all good again.
One lonely day I recall pouring out my heart to the Lord and begging him to take away my pain. I was sure another relationship would heal my wounds. It was at that moment that I clearly heard God say, “Vicki, I don’t promise anyone tomorrow. I want you to live for today and experience all I have in store for you.” I realized right then my job was not to look for another mate but to look fully into the eyes of my Lord and whatever he had for me each new day.
One Sunday morning I heard Dr. Richard Strauss preach at the small church I was attending. His words gripped my soul, so when I discovered he was the pastor at a large church in Escondido I thought, “Perfect! I can go and hide out there.” After attending Emmanuel Faith for two years, I decided to become a member. It just felt like the right thing to do. Following the membership class, a woman named Francie stood at the door and asked the people leaving where they hoped to serve. I responded with, “I’m a divorced woman.”
Francie said back to me, “So?”
I thought she must have not heard me so I repeated my statement. Yet again, her response was the same followed by “do you love Jesus and desire to serve him?” I was speechless. The love and acceptance I had been searching for overwhelmed me; finally, I had found a home.
I started out serving in the four-year-olds classroom because they wouldn’t ask where my son’s daddy was. While singleness was not my preference, and it was often lonely and frustrating, I slowly became accustomed to this new reality. Since then I have been invited to serve in multiple areas of ministry including College, Women’s, Counseling, and Missions. Each opportunity has brought me closer to my Lord.
Singleness is not what I had hoped for years ago, nor is it what I prefer today, but it is where the Lord has me. It has in many ways brought me to a place that Paul shares about in 1 Corinthians 7:35, “to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” In my aloneness, I have turned to the Lord over and over again for comfort, encouragement, and grace. He has brought me so much joy and it is out of my woundedness he has healed me and allowed me to go on to help others. Regardless of my circumstances, I would not choose anything over full devotion to my Lord.
Vicki Stone
College and Counseling Ministries
EFCC Member
A Seat at the Table
1 Corinthians 7:8
I have a friend who went to seminary to be a pastor, graduated from a reputable school with an MDIV, and is absolutely great with people, but he was never able to find a job working as a pastor in the church. It wasn’t for lack of effort, he’d applied for different positions in different denominations, but nothing ever panned out. It turned out there was one thing missing from his resume and it wasn’t any education, skillset, or experience. It was the fact he wasn’t married. My friend termed it his “fourth finger disability.” His ring finger was void of necessary adornment that would have made him hirable within the church.
While his story is unique to him, and while there are certainly other circumstances that surround his journey, the truth remains, that in many churches, being married is an unspoken requirement of being on staff. Many single people also express they are often treated as being less mature than those who are married as if they’re missing a key component to adulthood. In many ways, this devotion is more of a manifesto and a stake in the sand to say that’s not right. The last time I checked, Jesus was single. If we wouldn’t hire Jesus as a pastor or consider him to be a mature adult, then it should cause us to rethink, well, everything! In addition to that, Paul wrote to the Corinthian church saying, “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.” (1 Cor. 7:8)
Somewhere along the way, we lost sight of a vision for singleness that is not only acceptable but in some scenarios even preferable. It appears the church’s vision for marriage is, at times, based more on convictions about love formed in the Romantic Era than grounded in Scripture. Marriage is often baptized as God’s universal calling for all people, even though Paul states some would “be happier if they remain single.” (1 Cor. 7:40)
As one reads through 1 Corinthians 7 with the lens toward singleness, it becomes clear Jesus has a great plan for single people, and it’s not just for them to get married someday. In this chapter, we see the way single people are a distinct part of God’s plan to build his kingdom and integral parts of the family we call the church. Because of that, our desire at EFCC is for single people to know they are full, contributing parts of our church. We’re not waiting on anyone to get married before they feel welcome, there is a single seat always open at our table.
If you are single, please know you are welcome and valued here. If you are married, invite one of your single friends over for dinner this week and ask them about their journey as a single person in the church.
Ryan Paulson
Lead Paulson