If Momma Ain’t Happy…
The Bible shares a few instances of men trying to make momma (or their love interest) happy. All of the examples that come to my mind ended badly. Adam and Eve in the garden was the start. Adam received instructions from the Lord to not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Those instructions were given before God created Eve (Genesis 2:15-25). Then, when Eve took the fruit and ate it, so did Adam, who was with her at the time (Genesis 3:6). Adam picked Eve’s desire, and his desire for her, over God’s command.
Herod, trying to earn the favor of a young woman, served up John the Baptist’s head on a platter (Matthew 14:6-12).
In Genesis chapter 16, Abram listened to his wife Sarai and took her servant, Hagar, as a second wife so that Sarai might have children through Hagar. This idea seemed good to Sarai at the time, but she almost immediately regretted it and became embittered toward Hagar and the stepson that came from this foolish plan.
All of these stories led to pain and suffering.
The saying, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” is proudly proclaimed in our culture, but believers should never make another person’s happiness (or even their own happiness) a goal. Happiness is a target that no one can hit. Happiness is like the wind, it can be enjoyed and experienced when it comes, but it can never be held onto. Chasing after happiness leads to pain and struggles like those displayed in the stories above.
Rather than trying to make momma happy, or yourself, or your husband, kids, boss, neighbors, colleagues, or friends, live to make those people holy. This is what Jesus does for us and is what we can model with each other. Eph 5:25-26, explains the way Jesus “loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.” Believers should sacrifice for each other. They should speak and trust the cleansing truth of God’s word over each other. The goal is sanctification (usefulness in God’s kingdom), not happiness.
Pray that your mind might be cleared of fleshly motivations toward others and that your actions will lead to holiness and usefulness in the lives of the people you love.
John Riley
Jr. High Pastor
He Listens as Well as He Hears
All praying people believe God hears them. If they didn’t, why in the world would they pray? But I wonder how many believe He actually listens and responds? And then I wonder how many realize that sometimes He listens and responds even when we haven’t prayed?
As we join Hagar in Genesis 16, we find her on a journey of discouragement and despair. And as she is in the midst of her pain and confusion, one thing that strikes me as encouraging is that while we don’t read of Hagar uttering even one word to the LORD, this in no way prevents Him from hearing and listening and responding to her. God responds to wordless prayers.
Now you may find yourself thinking, “No He doesn’t. We have to pray and use words in order for Him to hear and listen.” But let’s be reminded and encouraged by Paul’s teaching in Romans 8:26, “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Do you see those last two words? Of course, you do! Wordless groans.
You know, sometimes our life is so tough, our circumstances so discouraging, and our pain so overwhelming, the best we can do is…groan. And that’s perfectly fine by Him because wordless groans are the prayer language of our God.
Let’s face it, we all have challenges, worries, stresses, and burdens here at Emmanuel Faith. As I think about our church family, I know some are facing uncertainties as they look into the future, others are carrying around deep regrets about the past, and still, others are heartsick with concern for their kids or grandkids (and this is to name just a few of the things with which we wrestle). The reality is sometimes we are able to give words to how we are feeling, while at other times the best we can do is a deep sigh or a groan or a silent tear.
The good news we receive from this account is when we pray, and by whatever means we pray, we have a God who listens as well as He hears. Take heart, Emmanuel Faith. We are not alone!
Scott Smith
Connection and Growth Pastor
Does Anyone See Me?
From as early as I can remember, all I wanted to be was a mom. I played babies all day every day and couldn’t wait to grow up and have my own. So when the season of “littles” ran our house it was the best! I was in my sweet spot. We have 3 kids and more often than not, we had multiple of the kids' friends running around with us playing too. I loved having kids run around my house. The more the merrier. And even when they hit their teens, it was still lots of kids. But instead of running around, now they were “hanging out”. I’m grateful we still have one more high schooler left in the house to enjoy all the ruckus.
But it wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows. Every now and then we would have “one of those days”. You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones that you want to just fast forward to bedtime and try again tomorrow. Nothing would work right. I would be tired and impatient, kids would be too crazy and not getting along, there was too much to do that day, and we were 15 minutes late everywhere we were going. I thank God that those days were few and far between, but they definitely did happen. I remember in those days thinking to myself, does anyone see what’s happening here? Does anyone see what I”m dealing with? Struggling with? Juggling? Does anyone see….. me? How am I supposed to do all this? Exasperated, I’d hide in the bathroom (that’s where all moms hide), take a few deep breaths, work to hold back tears, and ask Jesus to help me.
When you feel unseen, unfit, unqualified, and undervalued there is one who always sees you. God sees you. He sees you struggle at that moment and He’s right there with you whether you feel it or not.
We learned about Hagar in Sunday’s sermon. Now there was a momma who felt unseen, unfit, unqualified, and undervalued. And I’m sure if we asked her she would say she felt a whole lot more on top of all that. In the midst of Hagar’s pain, God sent an angel who told her what to do, gave her hope, opened Hagar’s eyes and she realized she was seen by God (Genesis 16:9-13).
I know there are times when we sit in the middle of a tough day or a really rough season with one of our children, and we wonder how and why God picked us to parent that particular child. Let Hagar be a reminder that God sees you and your child, and He sees the situation. He created you both with each other in mind. You weren’t accidentally or mistakenly paired with that child. So He will direct you, just like He did Hagar. He will fill you with hope, just like He did Hagar. And He will fulfill His good and perfect plan for you and your child, just like He did for Hagar and Ishmael. Keep going, keep faithful, and keep believing. God sees. And He sees the much bigger picture. Let that fill you with hope.
Bonnie Nichols
Women’s Ministry Specialist
Run to Grace
Yesterday Deb reminded us the Lord wanted Hagar to know he had a plan for her messy life and was giving her a glimpse of a hopeful future that could carry her through. Yet because of the distress, she felt in light of where she came from, she struggled to step forward towards where she was going … towards where God was leading.
When asked, “where did you come from?”, do you cringe or lower your gaze? Do you feel scrutinized for having a child out of wedlock? Has your own painful past warped your view of parenting? Have you made a decision that you regret and can’t take back? Do you feel so paralyzed with shame it sometimes feels hard to breathe? Does your past make it seem almost impossible to embrace your future?
Your Abba, your heavenly Father, has a different message for you; a message of hope and grace. Your past is not your identity. Your past may impact your future, but it does not define you. Romans 8:1-2 says, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.” Your past, whether self-inflicted or done to you, does not have to label you or determine where you are going. At the same time, you don’t have to hide it. Sometimes just naming your past opens the door to the freedom that your heart is longing for. When we hide the truth it has power over us. Bringing the truth into the light amongst people who long to cheer us on brings about freedom. And oh, just imagine the hope it can bring to others who are struggling.
Here is what your Abba says about you:
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You are loved: “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing” (Zepheniah 3:17).
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You are forgiven: “For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins” (Colossians 1:13-14).
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You are free: “Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Who dares accurse us who God has chosen for his own? No one - for God himself has given us right standing with himself” (Romans 8:32-33).
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You have hope: “and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Romans 5:5).
One of my favorite worship songs is called, “Run to the Father”. If you’ve carried your burdens, your past, far too long, struggle with shame, and are just tired of hiding, this song by Cody Carnes will likely minister to your soul: Cody Carnes - Run To The Father (Official Lyric Video)
Run to grace; your Father awaits.
Lynette Fuson
Director of Care & Counseling
Fight or Flight
When I was a teenager and lived with my grandparents on a farm in Oregon for a year or so, I used to run away to the woods and loved to sit by the stream when life got heavy in my teenage world. I grew up playing in the woods, so it was a safe place for me. Sometimes I would write poetry, watch for deer or daydream, sometimes even get lost and have to find my way back. I wasn’t necessarily running away permanently, but I was temporarily escaping to be by myself with my thoughts.
Hagar is a young Egyptian slave girl who was given to Abram by Sarai, her mistress for the purpose of getting pregnant with Abram’s child, preferably a son. But when it happened, Hagar foolishly looked down on Sarai who felt abused plus maybe a little jealous. Abram didn’t want to be bothered with all of the drama and told Sarai to do what she wanted with Hagar so Sarai mistreated Hagar.
We know that women can be mean to each other, and that is what happened. Instead of facing her problems, in her immaturity, Hagar ran. And the angel of the Lord found her in the wilderness by a spring of water and said where have you come from and where are you going? Of course, the angel already knew the answers to those questions, but I believe the angel wanted her to honestly admit that she had run away from her mistress, and I don’t think Hagar had a clue where she was going when she ran. A recipe for disaster.
It’s that old fight or flight reflex we all have that causes us to want to run when a problem is overwhelming or someone is abusing us. People often don’t have a plan when they run, they just let their emotions take over, and away they go.
The angel of the Lord calmly said– ”Go back to your mistress and put up with the abuse.” He promised her a big family and told her more comforting things about her future. But why did he ask her where she had come from? Could it be that like us, she couldn’t move forward until she admitted where she’d been, especially to herself... He wanted her to see that running away never solves anything and usually makes it worse. The Lord wanted her to know that He had a plan in the big mess of her life and he gave her a glimpse of a hopeful future to hold onto.
God wants to do the same for us when we find ourselves in a mess and want to run away. He will walk with us through the problem if we let Him, giving us His wisdom and comfort. When you feel like running away, will you run away or run to Jesus with your problems?
Deb Hill
Executive Assistant
Temptation Island
There is a show on Cable TV called “Temptation Island.” And while I’ve never watched it, Wikipedia tells me it is based on the premise of bringing several couples to an island where they live - separated from each other - as a group of singles of the opposite sex with the idea of testing the strength of their relationships before making a lifetime commitment to each other. Some couples make it, others don’t.
As we’ve been learning, Corinth was a bit of a “Temptation Island” where accepted promiscuity and religious prostitution tested the sexual fidelity of many a marriage. The problem in the Corinthian church, as you well know, was that failure was seen as normal, particularly from the point of view of the husband.
If you or I were sent off to a “Temptation Island” so to speak, I wonder what would be there? What would pull us to consider getting, or to actually get, our needs met outside of marriage, even if they are being somewhat met inside of it? What would tempt our hearts away from our spouse? What would cause us to step out of bounds, either physically or in our hearts? For guys, the temptation to wander might come in the form of an image, be it pornographic or otherwise (think of how desirable it is sometimes to linger over an Instagram picture or an attractive woman who crosses your path). For the women, whose husbands might have become a bit less romantic and attentive than they used to be, the temptation to wander might not come in an image (though it might) but rather in the printed word. (It was surprising to me to find that Christian women read Fifty Shades of Grey just as much as non-Christian women.) “Mommy Porn,” as some of this literature is called, fills the Kindles and Nooks of many a Christian woman.
As we do our best to be disciples of Christ in a society that thinks nothing of letting its collective heart turn to people other than their spouse to get certain needs met, we would do well to remember this isn’t what God wants for us. It’s better to let a need go unmet than to fulfill it in a sinful way. But that’s not the way of the world, is it? The ethic of “Temptation Island” is to make sure all our needs are being met, while the ethic of the kingdom of God is to trust Him to meet our needs while living faithfully to Him and His ways as we wait on His good hand of provision.
Scott Smith
Connection & Growth Pastor
Let's Take a Break
I told my wife I wanted to take a break. She was devastated. Just kidding, that never happened. When one person says that to their partner in today’s culture it pretty much means we’re finished. But the Apostle Paul gives accommodation for taking a break in the marital relationship; not a break from being married, but taking a break, or fasting, from sexual intimacy in order to focus on prayer.
Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Cor 7:5
Fasting is taking a break from eating solid food. Humans need to drink water to survive, but they can take a break from eating for days at a time. Jesus did it for 40 days before beginning his public ministry recorded in the gospels, Luke 4:1-3. The human body has a natural response to fasting. Most of us feel that response every day when our bodies tell us, or compel us, in various ways, to think about and go get food.
Our bodies compel us toward other behaviors too. Sex is an obvious one. There are others we may not think about much, but there are benefits to being intentional about our compulsions and practices with them. Take breathing as an example. We don’t usually think about it. But there are times when people try to focus intentionally on their breathing: during exercise, swimming, or activities that require fine motor skills. Control of breathing and growth in the timing of it and strength in it can be a great benefit for one’s body and life.
I wish something inside would compel a focus on God the way bodies naturally compel a focus on getting food, getting air, or getting sex.
This is what fasting is for. An intentional practice to help people focus on God. When fasting, whenever your body makes you think about or crave the thing you are fasting from, turn to prayer. Think about and focus on God instead. Dr. Bill Bright wrote a small guide to successful fasting and prayer. He begins the guide with these words, “I believe the power of fasting as it relates to prayer is the spiritual atomic bomb that our Lord has given us to destroy the strongholds of evil and usher in a great revival and spiritual harvest.” Those words sound like a great goal for any person and every relationship to strive for. So, maybe right now would be a good time to take that break.
John Riley
Jr. High Pastor
Hard Work
Almost twenty-seven years ago my husband and I sat in our pastor’s office, starry-eyed and ready for a marriage of utter bliss. The pastor told us that our homework was to figure out two words that describe the key to a good marriage. We came back the next week with all sorts of eloquent phrases but none were the two simple words that he was looking for: “hard work”. Today, Jaisen and I would both say that this was the best marriage advice we have ever been given.
In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul addresses the chaos of the culture and then shows them a better way. What better way requires an attitude of love, sacrifice, and a complete willingness to put the other person before yourself. What many don’t realize though is that giving brings about more joy and contentment than any human perception of receiving ever could. In this seventh chapter of first Corinthians, Paul is speaking directly about the sexual relations and attitudes of the people, but I do believe that this message filters into all other areas of life as well. When a man or woman is willing to put the physical desires of the other above their own, they are demonstrating love, sacrifice, and a servant’s heart that brings peace, joy, and contentment. This is also true when we are willing to give and sacrifice emotionally and relationally.
I am beyond blessed to be married to a man who deeply loves Jesus and is willing to put his family and others' needs before his own. As a Navy Chaplain, he has sacrificed comfort and stability in order to provide the same for me and our children. We all have sacrificed what many deem as a “normal” life with the understanding and mutual agreement that this is God’s calling on our lives. Staying connected across oceans and time zones is not easy but it is doable when you are dedicated and intentional. The long periods of time and distance have been lonely, challenging, heartbreaking, and sometimes almost unbearable. In all honesty, I have had multiple, “why?” and “really… again?” conversations with God. While the challenges are not simple, remembering that the solution is simple, “hard work” does bring about peace and focus. And oh, nothing compares to that moment when we finally get to greet each other again with a sweet embrace!
You may not be married to a sailor, but no doubt you’ve sacrificed, or at least you’ve been asked to. Marriage is hard work, but when you decide to put the needs of your spouse above your own, the rewards are endless.
Lynette Fuson
Director of Care & Counseling
Marital Duty
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. - 1 Corinthians 7:3
Throughout history, the majority of our world’s view of sexuality has been driven by a very male-focused view of sex. Men have typically been the aggressors who have sexual “needs” that a woman has a duty to fulfill. In fact, the general sexual mores of most societies tend to be manipulated by men, in order to cater to men’s supposed “needs.” For this reason, our views of sex and sexuality have become very self-centered. It is about meeting my needs and knowing what I want. Even now, in our enlightened days, where men and women are much more equal, our views of sexuality have only become more selfish. For this reason, I find it incredibly interesting that Paul completely reverses this trend.
Paul does not begin with a male-centric view. In his view (thus the Biblical view), sex is not the first and foremost duty of the woman to her husband, but the duty of a husband to his wife. This may only seem like a subtle shift, but in those days, this was a massive change! Sadly, women were often treated as property or, even worse, as sexual play toys (not a far cry from how far too many people see women today). Paul is suggesting that it is the husband's duty to take care of her needs first. This changes everything!
In case you think that I am reading into this a little too much, the words that immediately precede this verse are, “each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.” Yes, Paul used an active imperative here. This is a command. This is a “should” that applies to all married people. And while the command applies equally to both parties, I am thankful the man’s duty is mentioned first, because in so doing, Paul places the onus on the husband to lead by taking care of his wife before he thinks about himself. The Biblical view of sex within marriage is one of mutual responsibility to serve the other. There is no hint of selfishness here. Sex is supposed to be an act of intimate service within the marriage covenant, not simply a place where you try to get your needs met.
So, whether you are married or not, I want you to hear today the radical and all-encompassing nature of the Christian Biblical ethic. It is an ethic and a worldview that teaches us to always put the needs of others above our own … even in matters as intimate as the marriage bed. Why? Because the way we treat people really does matter. Because all people are important. And mostly because we follow the One who gave us the ultimate example of selfless love on the cross. Let’s commit today to live like Jesus in every aspect of our lives.
Josh Rose
Teaching Pastor
What’s Going On Here?
One of the things that I love about being a follower of Jesus is witnessing the transformational power of the gospel in the lives of those who receive it. This transformation happens as the Holy Spirit applies the truths of God to the believers' lives. For about 2000 years the Holy Spirit has been transforming the behavior of millions of Christians, most of the time in contrast to the behavioral standards of their cultural settings.
When the apostle Paul came into the city of Corinth to preach the gospel, the Corinthians held as normal some very corrupted standards of sexual behavior. In Corinth it was normal for the husbands to have sexual relationships with multiple women, including prostitutes and slaves, while the wives were expected to remain sexually loyal to their husbands. As people within the city began to respond to the gospel and continued to learn from the apostle Paul the fundamental principles of God’s Word, a sexual behavioral transformation took place in the lives of the new believers. Unfortunately, as the apostle left the city, the Corinthian church became very tolerant of sexual sin (1 Cor. 5:1). Apparently, some of the Corinthian male believers considered sexual relationships outside of the context of marriage to be compatible with their new life in Christ (1 Cor. 6:15).
As news about this came to the apostle Paul's ears, he decided to write 1 Corinthians to remind them, among many other things, about some sexual principles that every married follower of Jesus ought to put into practice (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). In this section of the letter, Paul’s intentions were not to ask the Corinthians to abstain from sex altogether, but to reinstruct them in the matter of scriptural sexual morality and to admonish them to avoid the practice of adultery. Paul’s teaching most definitely set an expectation for all-male married believers of the city of Corinth that was very countercultural to their social stratum.
According to Paul’s teachings, every male married believer was expected to remain sexually loyal to his wife in a setting where this was only expected of women. This principle was so transformational that as more believers lived it out, it became one of the distinctive of early Christianity. Within the church, Christian wives were addressed by their husbands as equals and female slaves were no longer treated as sexual objects. So yes, Paul’s teachings were as radical back then as they are right now, but God intended them for the good of His people and the glory of His Name.
Pastor Esteban Tapia
En Español Pastor
